Instant gratification…… NOT

I spent yesterday pouting. Yes, I really did. Betsy will be happy to confirm this. It all started because I asked Adam to weigh me yesterday morning and in the three weeks I have been doing this I have officially lost….. drum roll please…… a whopping 4 pounds. That’s right folks, 4 measly pounds. I was SO pissed!!! I don’t know what I expected – I think I am still looking for that instant fix, a weekly loss of say…. 30 pounds or so (yeah, yeah, I know – completely unrealistic). So I allowed the scale to ruin yet another day. I spent all day yesterday being pissed off and feeling frustrated. It didn’t help that I had to work late last night, so I was also feeling sorry for myself about that. But you know what? Even though I was not having a good day, I did not stray from my food plan. I ate exactly what I was supposed to eat, and I did not come home and have a glass of wine. I went to bed feeling good about the progress I am making, and today I am in a much better place and I just have to laugh at myself. I mean, it has taken me how many years to get to this point? And I have been practicing reform for how long? And I think ultimately it speaks to a bigger issue for me – which is, I have trouble waiting for anything. When I was younger, I would actually unwrap Christmas gifts just because I couldn’t wait to see what was in the package. Yes, yes, I did that. Not proud of it, but it’s true. When I was pregnant, I had  SO much trouble waiting to go into labor – I would go to the doctor, insisting I was in labor a week or two ahead of time. One time I even got so far as to go to the hospital….. only to be sent home again. False labor sucks! And the funny thing is this…. I know this about myself. As I said in an earlier post, I have done my work. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. But I am still human, and I have learned that is okay to laugh at my foibles  – although sometimes I need a day or two to see the humor in a situation. So this morning, when I woke up, in addition to laughing at myself about my day of pouting yesterday, I was able to be excited about the fact that I have actually lost 4 pounds – not just “water weight”, but 4 solid pounds. It is a sign that things are changing in my body, and even though the scales don’t matter as much, 4 pounds is still 4 pounds. I no longer have 90 pounds to lose, woo-hoo! (I only have 86!). Day 25 and counting.